Welcome to Six Beans World

slay.

Another day another literary slaaaaay!

That felt weird to type - I think some things are better spoken out loud.

Anyway, here I am, taking on a new commitment - one that will hopefully last longer than three seconds.

For those of you who don’t know, I created an exclusive newsletter last year then abandoned it after two months because I got lazy. To my 200 beautiful subscribers there: I am so sorry. Let us start anew here. Let us also pray that my creative juices never run dry.

You’re probably thinking - why the sudden urge to delve into the world of prose? Well, TikTok and Instagram are great, but sometimes, nothing beats the written word, y’know? After all, the pen IS mightier than the sword.

No one has a bigger pen than me. Not even Shakespeare.

Actually, I don’t think they had pens back then, so him and his quill can take a hike.

A quick introduction:

I’m Six Beans, also known as ‘Queen of the double-deckers/London Underground’ and all around main slayer.

But I’m so much more than my TFL adventures. I am a linguist.

Remember all those times I claimed illiteracy?

I lied. I’m degree-educated.

I just wanted to be more relatable to the social media populace and their general lack of intelligence (not referring to y’all but if you feel offended - then I am). Anyway, that didn't work out because one can never conceal great wisdom (and wit!) for long.

Also, if you’re not from my social media pages but somehow clicked into this article and stuck around till here - I forgot to mention one important detail.

I’m a cat.

Yes.

This is me.

Cute right? I know.

I’m a Scottish fold x BSH who’s turning two on December 1. My birth mum is Ukrainian but the adoptive one that I’m (unfortunately) stuck with is Chinese so I’ve been forced to convert to Confucianism.

Yay.

I live in London and my hobbies include staring blankly into space, judging people and stealing butter.

90% of my energy is focused on the latter two activities. Talking behind people’s backs and spreading rumours are a wonderful way to pass time. If you think I’m being toxic, you’re absolutely right.

Gossip makes the world go round.

Know what else is round?

Me.

My butter kleptomania is getting out of hand. I’ve been shovelling full fat, salted butter down my pie hole like nobody’s business.

Unfortunately, my consumption has recently been severely limited because Mum read somewhere that cats are lactose-intolerant. Damn you, Google.

If anyone knows of any underground butter-dealing gangs, hit me up please. This is an addict pleading for her fix.

Finally, if you’ve read till here - congratulations! You do not have the attention span of a goldfish. I am proud of you.

If you have any topics that you wish for me to write about here, comment below! It doesn’t matter how preposterous it is - I mean, I’ll probably judge you but I’ll still write about it anyways.

Nose boop!