Oh Perfect Day

office cat off duty

Today is shaping up to be a perfect day.

I know what you’re thinking - Six Beans, with looks like yours, won’t everyday be a perfect day?

Nope.

Even with a pretty face and perfect body, life does not always go swimmingly.

For starters, I have to work three days a week.

Actually, work is five days a week but WFH is a scam and we (Mum and I) just lay in bed all day and log into Microsoft Teams every so often.

Today is Wednesday.

Wednesday is an office day.

Typically, I’d be dragged unceremoniously out the door at the ass crack of dawn to catch the bus. Not today!

Today, Mum slept through six alarms, Eight Beans escaped the house and someone chewed through the entire bag of toilet rolls in the night so she had to clean that up.

That someone was me.

Then I hid under the linen closet and refused to come out. So Mum had to leave alone.

Mission accomplished.

That linen closet and I shall become bosom buddies very soon, I can tell.

Why is a cat allowed at work, you ask?

It’s because of this pesky policy called a “pet-friendly office”. The d o g s there seem to adore it, brainless creatures they are, but I. Despise. It.

Why should I associate myself with labour? Mum’s job is to bring home the bacon and mine is to spend it (read: I’m very good at that indeed).

Also, between Mum and I, one of us has attachment issues.

Spoiler: it’s not me.

Some call me a lucky cat - able to see so much of the world, go everywhere with my human, even to her workplace!

To that I say - have you lost your mind?

I already see my human 18 hours a day at home, why would I want to hang out with her even more?

I think you may be confusing me with the d o g s. Those attention whores can’t get enough of their owners, always wanting to be as close to them as possible.

Let me make it clear once and for all - my love language is physical attack, not physical touch.

Quality time? I don’t know her.

Brb, I’m gonna go chew my way through another bag of toilet paper. Give Mum a surprise when she gets back in seven hours.